Sunday, 19 December 2010

The Woman in the Corridor - For One Shoot Sunday





The "crinkle, crinkle" of dried leaves in the long corridor.
I found you here love, on the freezing floor.
Your lips all blood in a white dress.
You'd been following a lie.
A lie. Yes.

Fallen as if struck in the small of your supple spine.
Spread-eagled; prone, delicious and divine.
How long I’ve longed to devour you,
A long I have been a beast.
A beast. True.

You seemed innocent, so blameless as you lay there,
Face framed by your straight, cascading hair,
Dark and clean, so fragrant and fine,
That as I lifted you, I
Wilted. Mine.

Enraptured I became by you, my black obsession,
My sleeping beauty and my possession,
Made to carry you from this dark.
But I return you here now,
To die. Hark.

Listen to these words because I know what you are,
Trickster. You came here from so very far,
Beneath my errant feet, to tempt me so.
Harpy. Siren. I won’t.
I can't. No.

You turn from me. For a moment I feel my shame.
I may be wrong, but then, you speak my name.
Like a curse, I'm shaken. I crack.
So I draw and shoot you once
In your back.

Your collapse is instant, hurtling in freeze-framed death.
I imagine the scar the bullet left,
Across your rictus shocked aspect.
I leave you as I found you,
Resplendent and wrecked.

10 comments:

  1. That ain't no way to treat a lady, as the song says.

    I really like the way you've construcrted those last lines of each stanza. The whole thing is satisfying to read.

    It's just me, I suppose, but i love your inclusion of the word "trickster."

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  2. wow adam - this was amazing - what intriguing write - esp. liked
    ..You'd been following a lie...a lot in this line to prepare for what follows
    also like how you formed the stanzas

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  3. Thanks Claudia. I like to think the structure stanza lone. Bwahahahahaha. Punderful.

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  4. Killer ending. Literally. Pain, revenge, and scorn... all powerful emotions that fuel energetic poetry. Agree with C about the way the ending lines read.

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  5. well that's a quick paced love gone wrong
    well done Adam

    I like resplendent and wrecked - gosh what a mess

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  6. *ignores temptation to continue to the darkside of punditry* The refrain/rhyme lines effect is indeed cool, but I also really like the circular journey, like a myth or folktale, with an albeit depressing but instructive end. It really feels like something from an older tradition, and that makes the bullet just that much more , er, explosive...? I'm stopping now.

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  7. I don't know why, but something in the poem reminded me of a vampire and his maiden, 'your lips were blood in a white dress' and 'I return you now here to die' very dark and grotesque.

    However, after reading moondustwriters comment I think it's about love gone wrong. It was a fun read for sure. Even if I don't completely understand it. LOL.. but that has nothing to do with you, I'm just a bit over-the-hill, I think.

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  8. This got picked up by the daily :)

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  9. I really like this, Adam. The formatting is striking (no pun intended) - each stanza looks like an arrow head shooting straight down from the photo.

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